The offer goes hand in hand with a huge amount of pressure to get it right. From choosing a magical place to saying the right words, you know this is the moment you will tell your grandchildren about. But before you get down on one knee, you should also think about the amount you are willing to spend on a beautiful piece of jewelry that your loved one will cherish for years to come. One man came up with a scheme to avoid getting into debt for buying an expensive engagement ring, but apparently did not think through his plan to the end.
Nine months ago, Redditor aita-ering turned to AITA Community after a heated argument with his son Sam. The 26-year-old has finally decided to ask an important question to his longtime girlfriend Emily. But the joy of the good news quickly faded when he asked his mother to remove the ring from her finger and give it to his fiancee.
Sam somehow realized that he was entitled to his mother’s ring, and that this way he could save a few bucks and not buy a new one. However, the man did not expect his mother to enjoy wearing it so much that she would insist on keeping it for herself. Well, that didn’t sit well with Sam, as he continued to express his disapproval of his mother’s actions and started arguing with her. Read on to find out how all the challenges unfolded and share your thoughts on it in the comments.
Proposing to someone is a magical moment, but it also comes with the need to get it right.
Image credits: Gary Barnes (not real photo)
Unfortunately, this man didn’t when he insisted his mom hand over the engagement ring to his fiancée and got pissed when she refused.
Image credits: WW (not real photo)
Later, the user clarified some details in the comments.
Image credits: aita-ering
Parents may be required to support their children no matter what. However, there should be no place in the family for accusations without a single care in the world. Redditors immediately sided with the mother and decided that she was wrong in this situation. With more than 3,000 comments, members of the AITA community expressed their concern about the signs of rights her son found and offered their own opinion on his actions.
For an expert opinion on this incident, we reached out to Judy Bartkowiakfamily therapist, coach and author Empower your kids! Coaching Guide for Parents. She pointed out that we are not talking about a child. According to the therapist, it was a grown man who asked his longtime girlfriend to take the risk of getting married and possibly having children with him eventually.
However, she explained that Sam, in fact, behaves like a child. “It’s all about what he wants, not having enough maturity or emotional intelligence to realize that it’s his mother’s precious and sentimental possessions, given to her by her husband. It’s not a family heirloom, and even if it were, it’s not something he’s entitled to while she’s still alive,” she said. KristenBellTattoos.com.
Bartkowiak argued that a man had no right to call his mother selfish or materialistic because she wanted to wear her own wedding ring. “As a grown man getting married, he has a duty to provide for his bride, and if he can’t afford a ring yet, then maybe he needs to save up or buy a used or cheaper ring, then upgrade in the future.”
Conflicts between parents and children are common, and occasional quarrels are just part of family life. However, it is important to do everything possible so that they do not turn into constant arguments that cause tension and stress and affect our well-being. Speaking about this particular situation, the therapist noticed that Sam had a tendency to engage in negative behavior. “I suspect that with a man like her son, everything will go in a spiral,” said Bartkowiak. “He has a fight because he can’t get his way, and by intimidating her, he shows his fiancée how he will treat her when he doesn’t get what he wants. I hope she sees it.”
“I think mom is true to her feelings and respects her husband by insisting that she keep her wedding ring,” she said, adding that it’s pretty unbelievable that her son would even ask for a wedding ring while she was still alive. “I suspect this is a spoiled young man and it may be too late for him to realize that you won’t get what you want by yelling at a vulnerable older woman.”
Bartkowiak stressed how important it is for parents to say no to their children. “As moms, we want to say yes, don’t we? But if children don’t hear and respect our no, how will they appreciate our yes?
“This young man is showing his true colors, and I sincerely hope that his fiancee will take note of this and leave him for a man who loves and respects his mother,” the therapist added. “[A man] who does not dream of asking for an engagement ring while she is alive, and certainly one who does not yell at her and accuse her of selfishness and materialism. Get out of this relationship, honey, this is not someone who will treat you with respect and kindness, ”concluded Bartkowiak.
Redditors overwhelmingly sided with the woman, here’s what they said