Gay tells his niece the truth about her homophobic grandparents and starts family drama

We often complain about our parents. We love them, yes. But every time you find yourself in the same room, something clicks and you return to the starting point, briefly thinking: “God, I hope I don’t become like them.” And yet… In spite of everything, there is such a strange thing called “unconditional love” – ​​the basis of any relationship between parents and children.

Unfortunately, there are times when parents cannot come to terms with the fact that their child has not become “normal” like themselves. Which is also one of the reasons LGBT+ people tend to have “higher rates of health and mental health problems,” according to some reports. research.

How this 28 year old gay shared his story, unconditional love is not what he experienced from his conservative parents: rejected for homosexuality and expelled from the annual Christmas gatherings, u/frustrating family drama could no longer hold the truth about why he always “had to work” during the celebrations, so when his little niece asked, he answered.

Little did he suspect that his sincere honesty would turn his whole family against him. Accused of implicating his sister’s little daughter, the man turned to the “Am I The A-Hole” subreddit to find out if he really did something wrong.

If you’re craving more stories like this, check out this and this post!

Image credits: Renate Vanaga (photo not real)

And all he did was tell the honest truth

Image credits: upsetting family drama

Judging by the responses on the Internet, it is clear who is wrong here.

Although times are changing and more and more American adults are accepting that their children are “coming out”, according to recent research, the truth is much less beautiful – to this day, not every parent can accept their children as they really are. Regardless of form, shape or gender.

Talking about this universal problem with Michael LaSala, a practicing psychotherapist who specializes in the LGBTQ+ community and author of Coming Home, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child (a true testament to how conditions have changed for gay youth), himself openly gay from 32- husband, we learn that the u/upsettingfamilydrama case is far from the first in LaSala’s 30+ years of experience.

“The general rule when working with children is that you tell them the truth when they ask for it,” LaSala said., before adding a reminder that every case is different and in order to fully analyze this situation in the most useful way, he needs to learn more about each person in the story. Therefore, he believes that the niece was ready for the truth and the real enemy in this story is not the author, but “homophobia in the family.” LaSala then noted that the 10-year-old girl is “one of the healthiest people in this whole scenario” as she was the only one who solved the problem. Go niece!

The world is now more complex than ever before. This is what we reminisce about during our conversation with Dr. LaSala. “The niece is in a difficult situation and it probably won’t be the first or the last time she’s faced a gray area,” he told us. While LaSala isn’t as judgmental of the author’s sister, who took the easy way out of this situation—as opposed to some of the more strident responses online—he believes it’s never too late for her to do the right thing.

“One of the things a sister could do is say, ‘Mom and Dad, you’re wrong about this and you’ve put us in a very awkward position where we’re supposed to have a separate Christmas and my daughter is very confused.’ [because of it]“But it’s never too late,” LaSala said.

As confusing as it may be for a 10-year-old girl, she can be the catalyst for some family changes. Young people are, after all, curious. They love to ask questions. LaSala agrees, adding that it must be a team effort. The first step is to change the approach. “I would advise the author to do this from a position of strength, and not from the position of “did I do something wrong?”

What about parents? What are the chances that one day they will come to terms with their son’s true identity and accept him for who he is? LaSala advises that there is still hope for a relationship, but only if the parents are willing to help. “Keep minimal content – calls now and then, a Christmas card saying, ‘I know we don’t talk much and we have some disagreements, but I just wanted you to know that I still love you.’ So if and when parents make bypass, there are no obstacles to overcome long-term distance and hostility.

This is a sad reality that many LGBTQ+ people have to deal with. And LaSala understands that if you become better (woman), it will not change your parents. That’s why sometimes it’s better to start creating your own family – one that will accept you for who you are. To this, LaSala said, “I hope he’s doing it right now.”

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