“I cried about it for days”: Woman heartbroken when parents chose to go on holiday instead of attending her wedding

When we think of the perfect wedding, we don’t focus on all the aesthetic details but on the people we want to witness the celebration of love. If you get together with your family members, it’s only natural that your parents and siblings will show up with your closest and dearest friends. Yes, aisle and table decorations are important, but they are not the priority.

If you realize that your parents have decided not to attend your wedding, it can be absolutely devastating. So much so that any other compromise on the table seems like a pale shade in comparison when all you want is to have your loved ones with you on the big day. Redditor u/Designer-Pay8281 opened about A disturbing situation is going on in his family. She is planning to get married this year, but her parents have made it clear that they will not attend the ceremony. Instead he will go on 2 years leave. Read on for the full story, in the bride’s own words. You can share your thoughts on the situation in the comments, dear panda.

KristenBellTattoos.com Contacted Suzanne Diggs Whitea licensed counselor, professor, and chair in the Department of Counseling and Higher Education Northern Illinois University Sibling rivalries, jealousy, family favoritism, and how to reconcile with someone if they have regrets, even if we don’t want to at first.

“The best revenge on those who have hurt us in the past is a good life. Our parents do their best – but their best may not be what we most want. Others’ Learning to accept imperfections is sometimes the best thing we can do for our mental health. This person’s parents will miss an important day in their daughter’s life, and the best thing a daughter can do is She made the day as memorable as she could for herself and her new partner,” she explained to us. “You’ll find our full interview with the professor below, dear readers.

Many people who are close to their parents expect them to attend their wedding.

Image credit: Nathan Dumalo (not original photo)

A bride shared how disappointed she was when she realized her parents had prioritized their vacation over her ceremony.

Image credit: Vidar Nordli-Mathisen (not original photo)

“Sadly, sibling rivalry starts early in life and can end a parent’s life. Sibling rivalry is natural because children learn at a young age that parents have their own children. They have limited ability to give the attention they crave and when it feels like siblings are getting more than their fair share, it can lead to resentment, jealousy, and envy.Parental Attention Enmity for.”

Professor Dags WhiteFrom Northern Illinois University, explained to BoardPanda that some parents actually activate one child more than the other. As such, it can instill in some siblings a “deep sense of injustice” that can last a lifetime. It is important to recognize that our parents are not ‘perfect’, they are just as flawed as any other human being on this planet.

“As adults, we need to recognize that we need to feel that we are ‘enough,’ regardless of how we feel others see us. If we stay stuck, we are harming ourselves and letting the past color our present. Although we may not be able to correct the mistakes, real or imagined, that we experienced in our childhood. “There was, but we have the choice to consciously move on from the past and just accept that our parents are human and, by nature, flawed. We can’t fix anyone but ourselves,” the licensed counselor said. said

“When we continue to feel ‘less than’ a sibling – and the evidence seems to confirm this feeling – we have the option to either carry the negative emotions that arise or let them go and affect those people’s lives. I am happy who care about us and want to spend time in our company.

We are also curious about how to proceed when our loved ones try to reconcile with us, yet we can be very upset about what they do or don’t do. “It’s a difficult situation when someone genuinely regrets past bad behavior and admits their wrongdoing and apologizes to the person they hurt, but their attempts at reconciliation are rejected. Some people take a long time to let go of past injustices and some people live by the credo of ‘never forget, never forgive’,” said Professor Dags White. It highlighted the fact that we are all human, and as such, we all make mistakes.

“If we can’t make room in our lives for another’s efforts at reconciliation, we’re setting ourselves up for a lifetime of unnecessary loss and shrinking support networks. Rarely are those who We care about intentionally hurting us—and we have to be able to step back and recognize that when someone puts themselves out there with a heartfelt apology, that’s another ‘investment’ in the relationship. Messing up is easy, confessing and trying to atone is not.

According to Northern Illinois University professor Dags White, accepting someone’s regrets can help you take the long view of your relationship with someone. Here are some questions you can ask yourself: “Was that person there for you when you needed them? Have they been loyal to you even when you didn’t deserve it?” Is this the first time they’ve done something that hurt you? If not, maybe letting the relationship go is the best option. If it’s the first time, remind yourself that everyone has second chances. Deserves.

While we can never undo the past, we can go forward and make different choices, the expert said. “Trust is hard to rebuild, but if it’s a long-standing relationship, replacing that person in your life can be harder than you think.”

As a compromise, the idea of ​​an intimate family-only wedding reception was floated to see where the redditor-bride might be interested. However, OP was so upset about her parents not coming to her wedding that she rejected the idea over and over again.

This is actually why he asked the AITA community for their opinion first. She wanted to know if he was wrong to be so stubborn. The majority of Reddit users thought the OP did nothing wrong. However, the verdicts were not unanimous.

A lot of people in the AITA community were a bit confused by the whole situation, including why the bride’s parental leave had to last for 2 years, and whether they knew the specific wedding date. Some also thought that the OP should have communicated her feelings more clearly so that her family knew where she was best off.

The author of the post shared some more information about what happened to her family in the comments.

A while back, we chatted with parenting blogger Samantha Scroggan about communication within families. “I think when setting boundaries with family members, being clear and using good communication are the best ways to go,” the ‘Walking Outside in Sleepers’ founder told BoardPanda, adding that clarity helps avoid such situations. is where someone may misinterpret your actions for rudeness. Lack of appreciation.

The blogger pointed out that all families are different: some are very close, some are more distant. In either case, though, good communication can help set ground rules for how everyone interacts, and what is expected of them. This way, everyone can feel comfortable in a family atmosphere.

Meanwhile, childhood freedom expert Lenore Skenazy, mastermind of the Let Grow Project and the Free-Range Kids Movement, told KristenBellTattoos.com in an earlier interview that parents should “keep the lines of communication open” with their children. When they grow up.

While some parents may be too detached from their children, others are too controlling, which is not healthy either.

“Give them more freedom gradually as they grow up and earn it by being responsible,” she said, adding that love requires trust.

“Taking away all freedom for their ‘safety’ is a way of teaching them that you don’t think they can handle anything on their own – how bad! – and that you don’t trust them. “Would you appreciate a spouse who tracked your every move? Would you feel confident?”

Here’s what other internet users think. Some people’s opinions on the story were very divided.

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