Logies 2022: Jess Mauboy suffers from on-air wardrobe malfunction

Jess Mauboy had a costume failure while performing at Logies. James Weir recaps the rest of the confusion.

The return of the Logies ceremony after a two-year hiatus caused by the pandemic went just as smoothly as Jessica Mauboy’s costume change when she encountered a PVC jumpsuit malfunction during a halftime performance during last night’s endless broadcast.

Her on-air wardrobe mishap became the symbol of the entire evening. The ceremony, which lasted over four hours, which ended with Hamish Blake winning the gold, was littered with lackluster jokes and jokes that fell short. All night long, TV’s biggest stars took to the stage only to get tangled up in their proverbial PVC jumpsuits.

Ladies and gentlemen, we didn’t think it was possible, but the lodges were rustier than usual.

It was painful at times. There were times when we as viewers felt so uncomfortable that we had to cover our faces with our hands and stare at the screen between spread fingers, like that ABC production team that accidentally saw their boss’s scribbles during a Zoom call.

RELATED: All this year’s Logie winners announced

Why is it so hard to come up with a semi-decent Logie Awards?

Don’t complicate. Chuck some of MAFS freaks at the table with Lee Sales and Ray Meagher and then keep the camera locked on them for the duration of the live picture-in-picture broadcast.

And then? Just ask Chrissy Swan to host the evening and present all the awards.

Within minutes of Sunday’s broadcast, it was immediately clear that Swannie would be the MVP of the evening. She should be presented with an honorary diamond encrusted Logie for single-handedly reviving the event by presenting one of the evening’s first awards alongside Karl Stefanovich. In less than two minutes, she effortlessly delivered a series of slam dunks.

“Irene, go back to the cafe,” she called when Home and away Lynn McGranger was quick to leave the stage after receiving the previous award.

If only we were treated to Chrissie’s hard-edged bluntness for the rest of the broadcast. On the contrary, it was the complete opposite.

At some point when Lego Masters Winner of Most Popular Entertainment Program, the organizers forgot to make sure there was a real trophy on stage for host Hamish Blake to accept when he stepped up to the microphone. As if the organizers of the award themselves know that no one really cares about receiving it.

Later, when Husey read Chef the name of host Melissa Leong when listing the nominees for the Gold Logie award, the guys in the control room stopped paying attention at all and just showed footage of Karl Stefanovich’s face live.

In one particularly depressing moment of the evening, a confused Scary Spice, who had just been announced as the new judge on Channel 10 The Masked Singer — stumbled onto the stage to present a musical performance by Callum Scott.

Seems easy, right? Well, apparently not. While the rest of the hosts of the evening preferred to read from the teleprompter, Mel B stuttered and stumbled as she glanced at several crumpled palm cards. She looked like she was doing a 10th grade oral presentation that she put off until the last minute and frantically threw in the back seat of her mom’s Pajero on her way to school.

It seems that even the world’s stars cannot escape the curse of the Logies. She could hardly read the three lines given to her by the producers. But then something inside her pushed her to go off script for a moment due to some unplanned improvisation.

“Now he’s… like, I told him backstage… it’s my… guilt,” she muttered.

“So, ladies and gentlemen, please raise your…” She trailed off again, looking down at her notes, trying to figure out how the sentence should end.

Glasses! We shouted at the TV. Raise your glasses!

“… Raise your glasses,” she finally said.

And then… she decided to improvise again.

“…Hurrah…applause…” She paused for a long time, forcing herself to think of other verbs. “Scream… To the amazing… Callum Scott!”

Ugh. Finally got there.

As the time approached midnight and the hosts’ pre-planned jokes continued to land with a thud, Jessica Mauboy took the stage for the evening’s closing musical performance.

There are too many nuances and confusing details to discuss right now, so let’s just go through them step by step.

The stage lights came on and illuminated Jess in the buggy.

Beats from a pre-recorded backing track began to pound. It was her new single called auto is a medium tempo song consisting of only three minutes of car analogies.

“Get on the gas,” she sang. “Hit the metal.”

Never before have lyrics been so deeply connected to our souls. After four hours of this ceremony, all we wanted was for the producers to step on the gas and pick up speed. Or just hit us with a whole car.

In any case, when Jess got out of the buggy, it was impossible not to notice her costume: a floor-length leather jacket with long sleeves over a form-fitting PVC jumpsuit. Simple. out of time.

As Jess led her group of dancers back to the front of the stage, we all felt the song gain momentum.

“Don’t stop,” she purred.

Immediately, the lyrics jinxed her performance and things went awry.

Jess decided to rip off her leather jacket and toss it to one of her backing dancers, but – with all the fast-paced choreography and steamy Queensland heat – it must have gotten really hot and sweaty because the leather was tight against the PVC jumpsuit. below and does not move.

You might think that leather would slide over PVC easily, but don’t be fooled. When superimposed on each other, two different types of rubber form a fancy castle handle. Watching Jess try to skin the PVC was like watching a baby jump belly-first onto a dry slip-n-slide.

A look of horror flashed in Jess’s eyes as she realized the live television performance had been sabotaged by her own PVC catsuit. It was the hottest moment of the whole night. Finally, the stakes were raised.

She could only throw the collar of her jacket over her shoulder, leaving her hands in the leather sleeves. At that moment, one of the backing dancers stepped in and tried to rip it off, but he just threw Jess in the air with her body still in that damned leather coat. Mind you, she’s still trying to sing it all while jumping in front of the buggy.

In the end, she simply had to forego the dramatic costume change and continue her performance by trying to pull her tangled leather jacket back over her body.

As they say in show business, never work with children and animals… or PVC overalls.

When the play was over and Jess was squeaking backstage to find a barrel of baby powder, Hamish Blake rushed upstairs to get his golden balcony. How was his speech?

Don’t know.

Before he could say anything, a random grandfather entered the hall and yelled at everyone for being too noisy:

Twitter, facebook: @hellojamesweir

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