It’s okay to doubt your choice of parents; no one has all the answers. But the mom, who clearly wants the best for her child, recently got so confused about one of her decisions that she asked strangers online for their opinion on the matter.
She invited everyone to her daughter’s class except for the bully who always gives her trouble. Despite the fact that at the time the woman felt that it was the right call, after talking with her daughter’s teacher, serious doubts began to creep into her thoughts, leaving her no choice but to seek help.
The worried mother wanted her daughter’s birthday to be the best, so she invited everyone in the girl’s class except for the mean bully.
Image credits: TiAchen Aier (not real photo)
But after talking with their teacher, the woman began to doubt her decision, so she told her story on the Internet, asking for help to sort out the situation.
Unfortunately, the woman’s daughter is part of a larger problem. According to PACER National Center for Bullying Preventionone in five (20.2%) students report being bullied.
More boys than girls say they are physically bullied (6% vs. 4%), but the opposite is true when it comes to being the target of rumors (18% of girls vs. 9% of boys) and deliberate exclusion from activities (7% of girls versus 4% of boys).
And it’s not a one-time thing. Of the students who reported bullying at school, 41% indicated that they thought the bullying would happen again.
The National Center for the Prevention of Bullying also emphasized that students who experience bullying are at an increased risk of depression, anxiety, sleep problems, poorer academic performance, and school dropout.
In addition, victims are twice as likely as their unintimidated peers to experience negative health effects such as headaches and stomach pains.
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (photo not real)
However, as it meta-analysis cyber and traditional bullying, we must be careful when viewing the data. While such studies provide useful data and help design prevention programs, they often produce mixed results and numbers can vary greatly due to different definitions of bullying; not all researchers support the most widely cited characterization of the phenomenon, which is “harmful and repetitive behavior perpetrated by a perpetrator who is more powerful than his or her victim”.
Image credits: serious toast
Almost everyone thought that mom had every right to expel a bully
SomeSeriousToast is not the first parent to face this dilemma. And although each case is different, some people think that there are rules that apply to everyone.
A few years ago, Mark Breary, Principal of Kingswood Preparatory School in Bath, UK, made headlines for trying to remind moms and dads about inclusion.
He wrote them a letter asking, “Please, could you not bring invitations to the school for parties that do not include all the children in a certain grade or age group. This is completely against our policy of including every child and is divisive and unwelcome.”
The decision was criticized by parents at the time, with some calling it “ridiculous” on social media. Michela Helen Mills, for example, said, “I think kids should be allowed to give out invitations, and principals should remember that not all parents can afford to invite the whole class—some classes have over 20 people in each class.”
In fact, money was probably the most frequently cited reason for this approach being scrutinized, but several parents backed Breary.
Nicholas Roper was one of them. The man said, “He doesn’t force parents to accept 30+ kids, he just doesn’t hand out invitations at school.”
“Teaching kids is hard enough without extra classroom drama.”
After the news broke, Breary backed up his decision, saying it was designed to ensure that children who were left behind didn’t feel upset. He added that if parents only want to invite a few of their child’s friends, they should do so in private.
“If children feel that someone in the class has left them out, this can have serious consequences and should not happen. Why throw an exception in a public context if it’s not necessary?”
And it’s a feeling that many people who have read this particular story have expressed in one way or another.
But some pointed out that handing out invitations during a school event might have been a mistake.