One of the biggest fears parents of identical twins can have is mixing them up somehow. Internet forums are full of people asking how to prevent this. Well, one way to do this is to assign each twin a specific color. So, for example, you can dress Twin One in a certain way and Twin Two in different ways to quickly tell them apart while they’re still small. Sounds simple, clear and logical, right?
Well, some people don’t think so. In fact, they believe that parents choosing clothes for their children can be tantamount to “repressing their individuality.” One Reddit user, a mother of identical twins, reached out to subreddit AITA to see if she was wrong about dressing one of her twins in blue and the other in green. You see, her husband’s cousin accused her of “forcing them” to dress the way she wanted. In fact, she went berserk and thought it wasn’t fair to them.
Read more for the full story and how members of the AITA online community have reacted to this rather idiosyncratic accusation. Don’t forget to share your opinion in the comments. And if you have twins (or know someone who has raised a couple), we’d love to hear from you Pandas especially.
Some parents of twins color-code their clothes to make it easier to tell them apart.
Image credits: Joe Goldberg (not real photo)
However, when one mother did the same for her children, her relative caused her much grief.
Image credits: Anna Averyanova (photo not real)
As you probably expected, dear Pandas, the vast majority of redditors fully supported mom. They emphasized that it was nothing new for parents of twins to color each child a different color. What’s more, they noted that at this age, it’s important for parents to be, well, parents. It is difficult to talk about a real, full-fledged individuality and making rational decisions for yourself when you are one and a half years old. (This happens a little later.)
Some parents choose to use non-toxic nail polish to distinguish their twins. Meanwhile, others joke that it’s vital that the couple agree to never ever play tricks on each other by switching twins.
Parenting is a balance between parental guidance and respect for the privacy and freedom of children as they grow and mature. It’s usually best to avoid being completely hands-off or overbearing (although either approach may work in some families). A combination of leadership, discipline, trust and communication is usually the best.
Child independence expert Lenore Skenazi previously explained KristenBellTattoos.com why some parents are overly controlling and go down the “helicopter parenting” path.
“One thing that many parents choose today is to keep their children under constant surveillance through technology. Whether it’s being able to track their kids’ movements, read their browsing history, or even scan their texts, parents have all sorts of new tools that make them omniscient,” she said, making tracking kids easier than ever before. but this must be balanced with a certain respect for privacy.
“For the same reason you didn’t want your parents to read your diary or build a treehouse on a branch next to YOUR treehouse, kids need some space to grow into their personality,” she explained to Bored. Panda.
“Children need to know that they are loved, but they also need to know that they are trusted. They won’t be able to prove it if their parents never let them do some things literally on their own, without constant supervision.”
The best approach, according to the expert, is “talk, don’t chase” to create a trusting relationship between parent and child.
“Try to maintain open communication with your children and gradually give them more freedom as they grow up and earn it by taking responsibility. Taking away all their independence for the sake of “safety” is a way of teaching them that you don’t think they can handle anything on their own – how discouraging! — and that you don’t trust them. Would you appreciate a spouse who watched your every move? Will you feel trust? Love requires some trust.”
This is how some members of the AITA community reacted after reading this story. Mom also gave additional context