“She is being forced to do things she would never do herself”: the guy criticizes the way dad disciplines his daughter, and calls it emotional abuse

Some time ago, physical abuse was an acceptable punishment for a naughty child. It was even used in schools so that not only parents could use this method of discipline.

Thank God someone figured out that this is not the best way and that it is actually a really bad way to show your children what is right and what is wrong as it leads to a lot of problems that this child will have to face when they are growing.

Physical punishment is not as common and unacceptable in society, although there are no strict laws around it. However, emotional abuse is still very often used by parents. They think they can get away with it because they don’t hit them, but this TikToker explains that it’s actually not the best option either.

More information: tik tak

Dad decides to punish daughter by making her smash phone with hammer, but TikToker says it’s not okay

Image credits: full parent

John Vogel, who is also known on TikTok as a whole parent, is a “dad, pastor, and fan of trauma-free, fact-based parenting,” as he describes himself in his biography. He shares various videos where he gives advice to parents on how to solve common problems that many people face when raising children.

He is quite popular on TikTok, he has 200k followers, and not too long ago his video went viral with 5 million views of emotional abuse.

This video starts with a seam showing the other parent punishing his daughter because he is tired of her disrespecting her mom. He believed that a good way to show his daughter that her behavior is unacceptable is to have her smash the phone with a hammer.

The girl is clearly in trouble, she is crying, but dad tells her to hit the phone and do it harder. She does this through tears, but not everyone might think that this is abuse, since her father does not physically touch her.

TikToker kicks off their video by showing a disturbing clip of a girl crying as her father tells her to hit the phone.

Image credits: full parent

However, John defined it as emotional abuse and showed that if you read anything about child development, you know that physical and emotional abuse affect children’s brains in almost the same way.

A group of scientists published article in which they determined that “emotional abuse, which likely represents an experience of parental rejection and is often considered the most detrimental in terms of altered self-conception, is associated with thinning of cortical areas involved in mediating self-reflection, self-awareness. and first person view.

John points out that just because a father doesn’t touch a child doesn’t mean he isn’t abusing her.

Image credits: full parent

Lane Strathearn, MBBS, PhD, Director of Developmental Pediatrics and Behavioral Medicine and Physician Director of the Center for Disability and Development, said, “Problems seen in adulthood are extremely serious and difficult to treat. Our community is suffering on many levels as a result of emotional abuse and neglect.”

Helpline for children contains a long list of the consequences of emotional abuse, but let’s look at the ones that are mentioned both in this list and in what concerns physical violence. They include almost the same exposures such as self-harm, drug and alcohol use, eating disorders, behavioral disorders, low self-esteem, developmental delays, physical ailments, depression or anxiety, etc.

And because emotional abuse is harder to detect, it can be even more dangerous because there are no obvious signs that a non-family member can see. The Children’s Hotline provides a couple of indicators that may indicate possible emotional abuse, including avoidance or running away from home, school refusal, over-trying to please or failure to connect with parents, lying and stealing, lack of trust in adults, etc. d.

He argues that emotional abuse can be just as damaging to a child’s development as physical abuse, so parents need to look for other disciplinary methods.

Image credits: full parent

As John says in the video, just because a parent doesn’t physically hit their child doesn’t mean they don’t experience the stress that damages an undeveloped brain.

He also brings up another issue related to the specific example of a father forcing his daughter to smash her phone. She is taught that she should do what the man says even if she doesn’t want to, which can lead to her getting into and staying in an abusive relationship and this will be another problem in her adult life.

Image credits: full parent

You can watch the video below

@full parent #stitch we must think of the far-reaching consequences of our punishment. When we psychologically punish in this way, we don’t just hurt them the moment we inflict a lifelong wound on them. #emotionalalabusmarine #cruelparenting #education101 #kidbrainbasics ♬ original sound – John Vogel

Of course, all children are different, so it is difficult for parents to say what will suit them; however, they need to understand that the harm they cause with emotional abuse is very difficult to fix and even harder to forget even if they are fixed, so it is important to do research and find a gentler way to teach your children good behavior. .

Do you know how harmful emotional abuse can be for your children? What do you think are the best ways to discipline your children and show them that their behavior was wrong? Or do you think that parents and children become too sensitive and as long as they don’t hit their children, they are fine? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

People in the comments were horrified by the original clip, especially since they too were emotionally abused as children.

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