The Real Housewives of Melbourne, Episode 10 Season 5: Nick Bond Recap

In an explosive season finale, a Real Housewives star from Melbourne admitted to sending offensive messages to her co-star. Read our full recap.

This week it’s the finale of The Real Housewives of Melbourne, and we’ve got our second SMS-based scandal of the season.

We open up to compare notes with Kayla and Cheri Cheri’s birthday party last week — and Kayla is sitting on a bang in the form of some “toxic” texts she’s received from Janet.

Kyla describes it as a “shower of humiliation,” which is speculated to have been sent by Janet after drinking a few drinks (and we’re not talking about her Chemist Warehouse tea). Janet, naming Kayla’s partner and younger daughter, is all very personal stuff, saying the two should be ashamed of her.

Out of Melbourne, Simone welcomes Jackie and Janet with “his girlfriend Ingha Key” Fabulous Polo Academy,” which is the kind of social invite you don’t hear a lot about outside Torak.

They sit in the stables for chamfers and nibbles — honestly, these ladies can pull stumps and open a bottle of wine anywhere — and Janet explains His side of this toxic text saga.

Janet says she stumbled upon leaks from the show posted on social media fan sites, which described her as “totally falling down to do less” this season, while calling Kayla the wrong victim. featured in.

Believing Kayla to be behind the leak, she made out via text.

“It’s really offensive and I’m happy to show it to you,” she says, taking out her phone from the girls.

She shows Simone and Jackie what she has written – and even two of her closest aides laugh as she reads the aggro texts.

But Janet claimed that within hours of sending Kyla the text, the blogger deleted all abusive posts about her — thereby, she says, proving that Kyla was the source of the leak.

Frustratingly, between these two scenes, we never really see for ourselves what the texts say — luckily I can bring you this particular shot:

After polo and back in Melbourne, heavily pregnant Jackie – that feeling Very Recently hormonal and mentions this fact at least twice a minute – turns out she has organized some very uncomfortable activities for husband Ben Gillies. Maybe listening to Danielle Johns podcast?

First she hooks him up to a machine that simulates labor contractions—so far, so funny, as Ben winces in pain while Jackie dials the controls.

Then it gets very scary as Jackie disappears in another room and reappears… with a newborn baby. Ben immediately panicked: Where did you get this little kid? Whose? Aren’t they missing it?

It sounds a bit strange, like funny animatronic baby From Twilight, and Jackie’s widespread insistence that Ben hold “Little Nathaniel” Only makes the scene more distracting.

“I can’t tell what makes me so uncomfortable about Jackie having this random baby,” Ben says, until she finally gives him the baby and we find out…

Finally this week – and indeed this season – all the ladies are preparing for an intimate gathering hosted by Kayla.

All of that, except for Janet, who is sitting at home with alcohol in her dressing gown and stubbornly refusing to budge because of her issues with Kayla.

This behavior has totally become too much this season! got drama? Load up on pre-drinks and head to the party.

There’s a strict Sapphire dress code (thank goodness I wasn’t invited, all of my Sapphire is in the wash), which Cheri and Simone dutifully follow, Gamble half-effortlessly and Jackie completely ignores.

Gamble reports to the group that Janet is unlikely to come, and Jackie—who I’m not sure you’ve heard—is. really Hormonal – Develops instant rage-induced eye twitching at his bestie except in the event.

But who needs Janet Roach when you’ve got an oddly intimate cabaret revue for five spectators?

Musical theater artist Mike Snell emerges from behind a curtain with two back-up dancers to deliver a wide-eyed, rictus-grinning, jazz-hands performance. cabaret, high-kicking my way through the numbers with such enthusiasm I’m worried she’s going to knock at least one housewife’s teeth:

The dinner theater is over, the women sit down to their meal, but tensions run high as they all argue about Janet’s absence.

is she really Skipping the last group event of the season?

Laugh out loud Of Duration No. Ta-dah:

Relief is evident as everyone except Kayla rushes in to greet her.

Janet sits down and declares that she will “not be kicked out” by Kayla, then issues a petition for the group to return to their old, peaceful ways before all this fighting. (When was that really? We’ve seen Seasons 1 to 4, Janet.)

Kayla demands that Janet apologize to her for the hateful texts but Janet’s Just here to enjoy myself, JR Styles, do you know what I mean?

“I don’t think I’ve done anything bad to you,” she says side by side, sipping wine.

then, like everyone real housewives Season finale dinner parties make it spiral out of control. Gamble suddenly attacks, telling Cherry that she shouldn’t trust her closest friend in the group, Kayla.

Cheri hits back, referencing Gamble’s husband to “buy her a new bloody earpiece”, which is met with an immediate groan of shock from the group.

Using Gamble’s hearing issue as an insult sounds an extraordinarily low blow — but Gamble is happy to return.

“Why doesn’t your husband buy you a new set of boobs, you idiot s**ch?” She spits.

As Simone sums it up watching this race to the bottom of the barrel: “Oooooooh… Sh*t.”

Afterwards, an emotional Cherry insists that she never made That derogatory comment last week About Janet not having thin hands—you know, that was caught on camera.

Cheri cries and is consoled by Kayla, Gamble yelling at them both, and Jackie suddenly standing on her feet and trying to play the role of peacemaker among all, using her handkerchief as a white flag:

With no reruns scheduled for next week(!), the final shot of the season goes to a very pleased Janet, who raises a glass and forms the basis of the chaos she has managed to create after only a few minutes:

The Real Housewives of Melbourne airs on Foxtel’s Arena channel on Sundays at 8.30pm – but that’s the end of the season. Collaborate with Repeater and Troubled Plastic Newborn nick bond on Twitter.

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