Parents always say they love children and even judge other adults who choose not to have them, but at the same time, they will take the first opportunity to make them someone else’s problem. Also, if someone refuses to take care of them, they will blame that person saying that parents need a break too.
This woman has enough because she always becomes the designated babysitter at every family gathering. She knows it will happen again this Thanksgiving, and at 22, she doesn’t want to sit at the kids’ table anymore, so she’s considering skipping family festivities altogether.
More information: Reddit
22 Yo is sick and tired of being the family’s babysitter, but her mom is against spending Thanksgiving with her boyfriend.
Image credit: Arbas Khan Yousafzai (not original photo)
The original poster (OP) starts off by saying that she was an unplanned child so she’s the youngest in the family, meaning all the other cousins have their own families with their children. So when the family gathers at her aunt’s house for the holidays, she is relegated to the children’s playroom and indirectly put on babysitting duty.
The parents know the OP is in the room with their kids, so when someone starts crying or fighting, they know they don’t have to go in there and make sure their kids are safe.
Not only is the OP taking care of the kids all the time, she also has to sit at the kids table at 22 years old. The woman is not looking forward to Thanksgiving because she knows it will be another chore and no amount of complaining will convince her mother to relieve her of that burden.
In fact, her mom’s response surprised people in the comments, as she said that taking care of the kids shouldn’t be a big deal for the OP and added that parents need that day off. He suggested that the mother take care of the children to see if she would like to spend the holidays that way.
The woman is the youngest of the cousins, so they all have children and because “they want a day off,” she becomes their nanny against his will.
Image credit: u/tgbs22
The woman is now considering spending Thanksgiving with her boyfriend’s family because they have already invited her, but when she tells her mother about her plans, she gets really upset. The mother interprets this as her daughter leaving her family on a day when they are supposed to be together.
However, people in the comments were supportive of the OP and found it very strange that she had to sit at the kids’ table as normally, even teenagers don’t sit there. They believed that a woman should go and have a good time with her boyfriend’s family.
Not only this, but it is also placed on the children’s table.
Image credit: u/tgbs22
Image credit: Kelly Verdek (not original photo)
If the boyfriend’s parents feel that they would like their potential daughter-in-law to join them on family vacations, we can assume that the relationship is promising and not just an opportunity to force a relationship. There will be an opportunity to avoid being babysat, but also bonding. With her future father-in-law, who is also important, the mother also failed to acknowledge him.
Some couples may decide to vacation separately, each with their own family. Matt Lundquist, LCSW, a psychotherapist and couples therapist, comments that there are people who don’t see the holidays as meaningful to their relationship, but believe that having holiday traditions can help. is strengthened.
When the woman complained about it to her mother, it was not taken seriously and she is thinking of accepting an invitation from her boyfriend’s parents.
Image credit: u/tgbs22
Thanksgiving and Christmas are the biggest family holidays in America and often couples decide to spend them with one’s family or bring both families together for one big celebration. It doesn’t seem to be an option for the OP yet, so conflicts like this between her and her mom may continue to happen in the future.
It’s not just them who have these arguments, as The Knot says, “It can be hard to know what works best for all parties involved. Deciding where to vacation can be downright complicated. Can, to say the least. Of course, you both want to see your loved ones, and they want to see you, and no family wants another set of in-laws to monopolize your time.
However, the woman’s mother didn’t want to hear any of it.
Image credit: OakleyOriginal (not original photo)
But this time the decision is influenced by the fear of babysitting when the OP expresses that she doesn’t like it. Do you think a woman should ignore her mother’s wishes and spend Thanksgiving with her boyfriend? Do you think the family will really miss her when she never spends time with them because she is always taking care of the kids? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
People in the comments were encouraging the woman to go for it because she is no longer a child whose opinion can be ignored like that.
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