“They didn’t even learn sign language for me”: negligent relatives of a deaf dad were upset that he never told them that he had a daughter

Perhaps you remember Andersen’s famous fairy tale “The Ugly Duckling”? About how the birds on the farm were completely oblivious to the strange chick, and then were incredibly shocked when he grew into a beautiful strong swan and left the farm to everyone’s admiration?

But what if the fairy tale developed differently, and even when the beautiful swan grew up, he was still considered an ugly duckling? And, as in childhood, completely ignored? The great storyteller did not foresee such a plot – although, by the way, it is quite realistic.

For example, just read this popular topic in the AITA Reddit community, which has collected almost 13 thousand votes and more than 1.4 thousand different comments – mostly in support of the original poster. No, the plot is not quite classic, but no less interesting for that.

More information: Reddit

The original poster and his wife live in a different country from his relatives and rarely have contact with them.

Image Source: Daveynin (not a real photo)

So, OP and his wife live on the other side of the country from his relatives, and neither of them sought regular communication, gathering only on rare significant occasions like weddings or funerals.

Image Source: disposable baby

OP and his wife are deaf from birth and the man has been neglected by relatives since childhood

The fact is that the OP and his wife are deaf from birth, and if a woman was lucky with relatives, then her husband was practically ignored from childhood. That is, the child was fed, clothed, taken to school – but nothing more. No one tried to make friends with him, to delve into his inner world – and this is actually very disappointing.

Image Source: disposable baby

OP’s parents didn’t even bother to learn sign language to make it easier for him to communicate

What can you talk about when the parents did not even bother to learn sign language so that it would be more convenient for their son to communicate with them? Of course, the OP could speak and read lips, but still some of the information is lost there.

Moreover, relatives always for some reason considered OP and his wife to be incompetent and not very smart. According to the author of the post, they seriously believed that the husband and wife live at the expense of the woman’s relatives.

Image Source: disposable baby

The couple decided they didn’t want anyone from their husband’s family in their daughter’s life.

In the meantime, they both have good jobs with a stable income, travel regularly and are just waiting for the real estate market to cool down to buy a house. Moreover, recently a new reason for this has appeared …

Yes, two years ago, OP’s wife gave birth to a daughter, but the parents decided not to advertise this event among his relatives. On the one hand, of course, there are many children of her age there – on the other hand, OP and his wife were afraid that if the girl was also born deaf, she would be treated in the same way as her father was once treated.

Image Source: disposable baby

One day, OP’s older brother somehow found out that he had a niece.

The girl was born without hearing problems, but her parents did not change their minds. They kept her out of social media and lived quietly for two years until OP’s older brother somehow found out he had a niece.

It must be admitted that the elder brother of the OP, in his own words, did not have a life together – he earns odd jobs, has unstable relationships and regularly walks with people. However, the family somehow considered the man a wonderful and very intelligent person, despite his behavior. And yes, as a child, I treated the OP badly.

Image Source: Red Blondie (not real photo)

Relatives criticized OP for being a selfish snob.

So, when the relatives found out that for two whole years the OP hid from them the very fact of the girl’s existence, they were furious. The wife of the OP was chosen as the main antagonist – they say that she turned her husband against his family, and they would be happy to help in raising the child.

However, the OP and his wife believe that in the circle of people who treated their father badly throughout his life, daughters will not be happy. Although, being under an avalanche of accusations, the man even thought to himself whether he was doing the right thing by depriving his daughter of contact with her relatives.

The people in the comments not only supported the OP’s decision, but also gave him a lot of advice.

Be that as it may, the commentators were unanimous on his side and massively supported such a decision. The OP was asked to think about whether he wants his relatives to try to convince his daughter that her father is incapacitated before she herself understands the difference.

According to people in the comments, this family is unlikely to help raise a child; the girl, probably, is interesting to them only because, unlike her father, she hears. The OP was advised to stay away, enjoy life and keep protecting your child from them.

We’re sure you have something to say about this story too, so feel free to share your opinion and we promise to take your comments seriously.

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