Whether we like it or not, siblings are for life. They are usually our first best friends and partners in crime where “please don’t tell mom” is the start of our adventures together. But while being tight and having each other’s backs is a great blessing, a good sibling relationship isn’t always a given.
Redditor Niece First BDA ITA He knows this from personal experience. Recently, this man submitted a story The AITA subreddit, after calling out his brother in front of his entire family, asked its members to express their views. “My brother, ‘Paul’ and I are not close at all. We have very different worldviews and incompatible personalities,” the user explained.
When he and his girlfriend, Amy, are invited to a get-together to celebrate their niece’s first birthday, the couple walk through the door and Paul is met with an avalanche of complaints about his wife and child. Targeted. When the man tried to freeze his brother’s false statements, the situation became so uncomfortable that he just had to react. Read on to know how this sibling drama unfolded and be sure to share your insights with us in the comments.
When his brother found everyone “very uncomfortable” at his daughter’s first birthday party, the man called him out in front of the entire family.
Unsure if he went too far, he asked the Internet to assess the situation
According to Dr. Jesse Matthews, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Chester Springs, PA, uncomfortable situations where family members lack respect for others are often difficult to navigate. Look, everything depends on the circumstances, who is involved, and the relationships between them. “I know most of us would like to believe that we would say something in the circumstances here, call this man out and put him in his place, but the truth is – very People are conflict avoiders,” he said. KristenBellTattoos.com.
Dr. Matthews explained that these situations are usually tense and awkward, and we may remain silent because we just don’t know what to say. “We might as well hope that someone else steps up and says something, so we don’t have to be the first, or at least don’t need to be. It’s hard to be the only one to talk, so it’s It’s more likely if you know that other people are concerned about the behavior and will probably speak up or support you in a conflict.
However, in most cases, being assertive and pointing out negative behaviors to a family member is the right thing to do. Although Dr. Matthews advises to consider the words the person is saying, who they’re saying it to, and whether it’s a one-off or a repeated harmful pattern.
“When it comes to family, chances are whatever’s happening isn’t happening for the first time and old Uncle Steve, Aunt Nancy, or Grandpa probably already have a reputation for this sort of thing. The psychologist added that you may already be motivated and have a good idea of what everyone else is thinking. “We all know that people like this are unlikely to change and we can feel that It’s a waste of time or an unnecessary risk to call them, even though it’s probably the right thing to do.”
Furthermore, Dr. Mathews asked you to consider location. If the person embarrasses or disrespects others in public, “it may be important to try to support the offended person(s) and let them know that we do not approve of their family member’s behavior.” are, while the family member should also tell this.” And there’s always the option of setting healthy boundaries. For example, some people limit their interactions with relatives “because of their behavior and the fact that they don’t change very often or don’t have much respect for how others feel about it.” do.”
Here’s what Redditors had to say about the sibling drama after reading the story.
When it comes to this particular situation in question, Paul’s complaints and rude comments not only ruined his daughter’s birthday but also took a toll on his wife Lisa. “This is probably not the first time Paul has behaved like this, as he seems very comfortable pushing work on his wife and making such offensive and hurtful comments. This is abuse, and regrettable. The point is that many partners fall prey to this and continue to allow it by not saying anything about it,” explains psychologist Dr Mathews.
If a person is acting in a rude and rude manner, there may be some underlying issues that are causing their behavior. “Paul may feel neglected or alone since his wife had children, and so he is criticizing Lisa through his behavior and comments, expressing his feelings and thoughts in a more productive or loving way. Unable to.”
“He also seems immature, making it all about himself instead of being part of a team with Lisa or accepting that life has changed. And the alcohol seems to bring out more hatred and anger in him. “His reaction to his brother’s words also shows his selfishness, as he feels like a victim and doesn’t see or acknowledge his part in the matter,” he said. Noted.
While Redditors immediately felt the hero of this story had every right to call out and shame his unsupportive brother, finding ourselves in a similar situation can leave us unsure of what to do. Thankfully, Dr. Mathews was willing to help and explain how to best handle these conflicts.
She suggests asking yourself these questions: “Do you say something, and if so, what? And going forward, do you need to set a boundary with this person and let them know that?” Need to state that you will not accept or tolerate this type of behavior?Also, do you need to reconsider spending time with this person or attending these types of gatherings?
Start communicating with other relatives as well, especially if you feel like you’re on the same page, the psychologist added. “The bottom line is that we don’t have to tolerate behavior that is shameful, embarrassing, or abusive, even from our immediate family. We all have the rights and power to speak up and that person Tell us how it’s affecting us. It’s not easy to do, but it’s often the right thing to do,” concluded Dr. Matthews.