“We can’t put one child over the other”: Mom wants to punish her son because he got to go to Disney World while his sister didn’t.

Most family psychologists, when talking about raising children in large families, always note how important it is for parents not to pick favorites. This is absolutely sound advice, and it really does help raise a psychologically healthy person – unless, of course, parents abuse the equality principle.

Unfortunately, in reality, things are not so simple, and often parents, in search of complete equality and impartiality in relation to all their children, actually offend one of them. And if one of the spouses stands up for the child, it can lead to family drama and increased misunderstandings.

Like this father, for example, whose Post to the AITA Reddit community. Recently got about 32K upvotes and about 3.4K different comments. Here events developed almost exactly as we have described above. However, let’s start from the beginning.

More information: Reddit

The original poster lives with his wife and their two children, a son and a daughter.

Image source: danuv (not original image)

So, the original poster lives with his wife and two children, a son and a daughter. By his own admission, the family is now facing some financial difficulties, so unlike his friends, he cannot afford expensive entertainment for his children.

Image source: FairIsNotFair

The son’s friend had a birthday party and invited him to Disney World, but the mother was hesitant to let him go.

So, one of OP’s son’s friends recently turned thirteen, and in his family, reaching that age means a big holiday (apparently, we’re talking Bar Matjawa – Coming of Religious Age in Judaism). So the boy’s parents threw a big party, to which, in particular, they invited the OP’s entire family, and sent their son to Disney World – and he, in turn, sent his best friend. Invited along.

The OP’s wife is reluctant to let the boy go – because, according to her, it wouldn’t be fair to her younger sister, who also loves Disney and princesses. The husband objected that their children would not always have the same opportunities, so it was not fair to punish a boy who had done no wrong.

Image source: FairIsNotFair

The boy bought some gifts for his sister, but when she saw him in a Star Wars shirt, she cried.

Moreover, it was the OP’s son who was invited, not his sister, because it was he who was friends with the neighbor’s kid. In general, the husband managed to convince his wife, and their son went to Disney World. The OP also gave her some money to buy gifts for her sister.

The boy did the same and his friend’s parents also bought a gift for the girl. However, she cried when she saw her brother in a Star Wars t-shirt and Mickey hat. The mother said it was a huge mistake, and it wasn’t worth letting her son go on the trip.

Image source: FairIsNotFair

At some point, the mother decides that the son should not accompany her on family vacations, just to “even the score” with her sister.

After some time, their BIL invited OP’s entire family to his beach house, which he had rented out for the summer. And then the wife suggested to the OP that their son should stay with his grandfather for the time being to “even the score.”

The OP took offense to such an idea and said he strongly disagreed. According to him, he can’t favor one child over another, and his son isn’t entirely to blame for being invited to Disney World by a friend, not his sister.

Image source: Steven Miller (not original photo)

Besides, as the man said, it will be a family vacation and he is surprised that his wife even had such an idea. The OP said he wouldn’t allow it and even though his wife was angry with him as a result, he didn’t care. While he’s certainly upset that everything ended up in a family drama, he’s not going to punish his own son for just being lucky.

Most commenters said that the woman definitely has a clear favorite out of her two children and that it looks really scary.

In the comments, people were very surprised and disturbed by this behavior of the woman. Some even said that she was the boy’s stepmother, because she behaved exactly like the evil stepmothers in fairy tales. The man replied that he gave birth to both children, further discouraging some readers.

According to commenters, everything seems like the wife has a clear favorite of their two children and isn’t afraid to show it. In any case, according to most people, the husband did exactly the right thing, the boy should go on vacation, and his wife should probably talk to the family psychologist.

We’re sure you’ll have something to say about this story, so feel free to write your comment. And maybe you have some helpful advice for the original poster on how to deal with this problem in his family.

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